All suffering is not the same. There are many types of suffering decreed by God to accomplish His sovereign will. Although as we have said many times before, God works all things for the good to those that love Him (Romans 8:28), the very definition of suffering means that it is painful.
When a patient presents with pain, there are several key questions that the surgeon must ask and answer to diagnose the cause of the pain. We ask when did it start? Where is it? Is it constant or does it come and go? What type of pain is it, sharp, dull, throbbing? These types of questions help us try and determine what other tests need to be ordered, if any. It may even be that surgery is needed to both diagnose and treat the problem. In our sufferings, one thing that we may want to know is, "Where does it hurt?"
Sometimes, in the immediate shock as our suffering begins, we sense overwhelming pain and are unable discern exactly what is going on. We may be experiencing physical pain in our body, such as when illness strikes. We may be hurting in our heart, from loss and grief. But one particular site of our hurt may not be readily evident, for it is an area we often hide from others, and a part of ourselves that is full of self-deception. It is our ego, or pride.
The word esteem comes from the same source as the word we use to establish the value of things, estimate. Self-esteem, then, means our own estimation of our value. And I think that much of our self-induced suffering comes from a wrong sense of self-esteem. A falsely low self-esteem leads one to feelings of unworthiness and a host of neurotic behaviors where we try to compensate. However, the trend in society today to boost everyone's sense of self-esteem is just as deleterious. This is especially seen in our school systems, where it seems that hugely increasing every child's self-esteem is considered at least as important as actually learning or accomplishing anything. And too much self-esteem leads to narcissim, an overwhelming self-love, as we get that word from Narcissus, the Greek who fell in love with his reflection in the water. What God wants for us is accurate self-esteem, not thinking more highly of ourselves nor too lowly of ourselves (Romans 12:3). However, it is impossible for us to know our exact worth without understanding ourselves in relationship to Christ.
Without Christ, we are dead in our sins (Ephesians 2:5) and God's enemies (Romans 5:10), and we can accomplish nothing (John 15:5). With Christ, we are beloved by God, are saints who will rule over angels (I Corinthians 6:3), and can accomplish all things (Philippians 4:13). With Christ as our saviour, God does not see our inherent unworthiness, but sees Christ's righteousness that is imputed to us. So, if you believe yourself to be an unworthy creature undeserving of God's love and mercy, without Christ that is true, but in Christ you are invaluable. If you think yourself to be a fine specimen of humanity with no need for Jesus, you are sadly mistaken. Our value to God is not determined by who we are or what we do, but by our faith in Christ.
In certain forms of suffering, the Evil One may attempt to attack us in our sense of self-worth. In spiritual warfare, Satan may attack you in an area of your strength, trying to convince you of your unworthiness. If you are a scrupulously honest person, the Devil may encourage people to spread lies about your honesty. And if you are a Christian who is trying to serve the Lord as a missionary in another land, other people may try to humiliate you and debase you.
However, in other forms of suffering, God may be trying to accomplish something in your life that requires that your ego take a beating. If you are out of God's will, in sin, He will chasten you. The purpose of that chastening is to lead you to repentance, and it is hard to repent without a sense of humility. Yet you may be in God's will, but have some part of you that God doesn't like, that He must remove by pruning. Those Christians who are being pruned are abiding in Him (John 15), yet they must be formed and shaped in the image of Christ, and those parts of us that are not Christ-like must be removed. Much of what has to be shed involves pride.
Those who suffer from spirtual warfare or persecution for their faith need not be embarassed by their affliction. They should take comfort in their value to God through their faith in Christ and know that they would not be under these assaults except for the fact that they are children of God. However, when we are being corrected by God or pruned by Him, it is revealing a deficiency in us, and the medication may just be a hefty dose of humility. A little redness in our cheeks is necessary now, that in eternity our faces reflect God's glory.
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